I don't know wtf is going on in my life now.
I don't know what the heck am I doing.
But I know exactly what the heck I am doing right know.
But I don't know why on earth I am doing this.
And also I don't know why on earth things will become like this.
I don't know why the heck my mood is so not good these days.
But actually I do know why the heck I am behaving like this.
I just don't wanna admit that shit happens.
I just wanna avoid.
No I don't.
I say I DON'T.
And I mean it.
FOCUS ON YOUR EXAMS PLEASE DUDE.
“We are like a snowflake, all different in our own beautiful way.”
30 March 2014
28 March 2014
Learn to Be Nice Girl
Sorry. I showed my attitude again today. After such a long time.
Urgh... I shouldn't have just left angrily even though I WAS REALLY ANGRY when the guys lied to me.
I should have just smile back to them, politely.
And hid all my anger.
Okay I PROMISE this will be the last last time.
No more attitude girl!
Play nice. Be nice. Even if others are not nice to you.
Don't you ever behave like a bitch again!
=(
My mood is bad for the whole day.
Not because you guys pissed me off.
Its just because I'm so pissed at myself for my outrage once again.
I thought I've changed.
But I didn't. At all...
Urgh... I shouldn't have just left angrily even though I WAS REALLY ANGRY when the guys lied to me.
I should have just smile back to them, politely.
And hid all my anger.
Okay I PROMISE this will be the last last time.
No more attitude girl!
Play nice. Be nice. Even if others are not nice to you.
Don't you ever behave like a bitch again!
=(
My mood is bad for the whole day.
Not because you guys pissed me off.
Its just because I'm so pissed at myself for my outrage once again.
I thought I've changed.
But I didn't. At all...
Insecure
Its almost the end of this semester.
And now when I look back, I really did spend most of my time for my Pharmacy friends.
I hang out with them, crazy with them, and they fill my life with lots of laughter and joys.
But I just feel that there's always a barrier between us.
I can joke but I know the limit. I can share my stuffs but AGAIN, I know the limit.
There's always a line for what I can and cannot do.
I'm kinda diverge from MSL already. Even with the juniors.
Until just now one of my whom I consider as family member suddenly come and chat to me in FB.
Then I realize I didn't talk much to him in this semester and he's moving away from PGP next sem.
Well I suddenly feel sad and insecure.
I'm afraid that I invested my time in the wrong group of people again.
I don't know. This feeling is very weird.
Ya, my Pharm friends gave me a lot of laughter but there's always a distance.
And when I turn back to MSL, I feel family love. I feel secure.
I don't know what I'm doing in this semester.
Its a total mess. Like I dunno where I had spent my time on.
Even for some of my best friends, I dunno why but I have a feeling that they don't really take me as best friend.
But ya, I have to admit that I am really not a good friend.
Really hope this insecure feeling will disappear soon.
I don't wanna lose any of my friends but I don't know where I should focus on.
BUT ya, obviously I'll focus on MSL.
Sorry MSL. I was lost for a period of time.
But I'm back. I'll cut down my focus and time on my Pharm friends.
Once a MSL, forever a MSL...
=)
And now when I look back, I really did spend most of my time for my Pharmacy friends.
I hang out with them, crazy with them, and they fill my life with lots of laughter and joys.
But I just feel that there's always a barrier between us.
I can joke but I know the limit. I can share my stuffs but AGAIN, I know the limit.
There's always a line for what I can and cannot do.
I'm kinda diverge from MSL already. Even with the juniors.
Until just now one of my whom I consider as family member suddenly come and chat to me in FB.
Then I realize I didn't talk much to him in this semester and he's moving away from PGP next sem.
Well I suddenly feel sad and insecure.
I'm afraid that I invested my time in the wrong group of people again.
I don't know. This feeling is very weird.
Ya, my Pharm friends gave me a lot of laughter but there's always a distance.
And when I turn back to MSL, I feel family love. I feel secure.
I don't know what I'm doing in this semester.
Its a total mess. Like I dunno where I had spent my time on.
Even for some of my best friends, I dunno why but I have a feeling that they don't really take me as best friend.
But ya, I have to admit that I am really not a good friend.
Really hope this insecure feeling will disappear soon.
I don't wanna lose any of my friends but I don't know where I should focus on.
BUT ya, obviously I'll focus on MSL.
Sorry MSL. I was lost for a period of time.
But I'm back. I'll cut down my focus and time on my Pharm friends.
Once a MSL, forever a MSL...
=)
27 March 2014
寻找失去已久的自信
在这顶尖的大学里，优秀的人多得是。
在这里生活久了，也早已忘了，自己拥有的从来没少过。
忘了，自己是有多么的幸运。
我好歹也是我爸养了二十年的千金
我知道我不是很美，
但我有高度 有身材（如果可以减肥的话）
我虽然歌声不好
但我曾经也是华乐的
也曾表演过笛子
我虽然不是赛跑冠军
但我曾经是排球校队
羽球篮球游泳跳高
我也不逊色啊
虽然舞姿不是很美
但我曾是舞蹈团团长（说来也好笑）
至少我记舞步快
至少我的动作是谐和的
我虽然会感情用事
可我的领导能力也不算差
重小就当班长学长
编剧导演摄影师通通都当过
我画画不是很好
可是靠 我这个没学过画画的 也能年年的美术科都得甲
我只是没有机会学而已好吗
我的毛笔也写得不错
从小开始我的创意能力也是一路被称赞的好吗
至于学业 是啦不知道为什么来这里的成绩会这样
可我曾去过港大
还拿过 first class 的成绩
还有
我会下橱会烹饪
做点心烤蛋糕也难不倒我
靠 上次是谁说我们没一个女生进得厅堂 入得厨房的啊？
这样算来
我的条件也不算差啊
为什么来到这里
我的自信一直往下跌
被一个又一个的美女
逼得自己躲起来哭泣
或许 这里的人就是肤浅吧
有外貌有钱＝条件好
好吧 我承认
我也是个外貌协会
可当你自卑得觉得人人都比你好时
你难道也不会这样？
哇 写完了
信心好像也回来了
是啊 原来
我是多么的幸运
=)
在这里生活久了，也早已忘了，自己拥有的从来没少过。
忘了，自己是有多么的幸运。
我好歹也是我爸养了二十年的千金
我知道我不是很美，
但我有高度 有身材（如果可以减肥的话）
我虽然歌声不好
但我曾经也是华乐的
也曾表演过笛子
我虽然不是赛跑冠军
但我曾经是排球校队
羽球篮球游泳跳高
我也不逊色啊
虽然舞姿不是很美
但我曾是舞蹈团团长（说来也好笑）
至少我记舞步快
至少我的动作是谐和的
我虽然会感情用事
可我的领导能力也不算差
重小就当班长学长
编剧导演摄影师通通都当过
我画画不是很好
可是靠 我这个没学过画画的 也能年年的美术科都得甲
我只是没有机会学而已好吗
我的毛笔也写得不错
从小开始我的创意能力也是一路被称赞的好吗
至于学业 是啦不知道为什么来这里的成绩会这样
可我曾去过港大
还拿过 first class 的成绩
还有
我会下橱会烹饪
做点心烤蛋糕也难不倒我
靠 上次是谁说我们没一个女生进得厅堂 入得厨房的啊？
这样算来
我的条件也不算差啊
为什么来到这里
我的自信一直往下跌
被一个又一个的美女
逼得自己躲起来哭泣
或许 这里的人就是肤浅吧
有外貌有钱＝条件好
好吧 我承认
我也是个外貌协会
可当你自卑得觉得人人都比你好时
你难道也不会这样？
哇 写完了
信心好像也回来了
是啊 原来
我是多么的幸运
=)
23 March 2014
I Don't Feel Okay
I don't feel okay.
I know I'm not okay.
For the first time I'm not attending your performance.
I have to admit that I do care. A bit.
Although how much I pretended.
Although how much I wish I don't.
---
I don't feel okay.
I know something isn't right between us.
I know this is not the right way.
I wanna pull myself out.
I tried hard.
I tried.
---
I don't feel okay.
I know that feeling is missing.
When I didn't think nor mention about you for days.
This feeling isn't really right.
I think I'll forget about you.
Sooner or later.
Or I already did.
---
I don't feel okay.
I don't feel secure.
I hope I can hid myself up.
I wanna be a loner.
Because I am always a loser.
I don't feel okay...
I know I'm not okay.
For the first time I'm not attending your performance.
I have to admit that I do care. A bit.
Although how much I pretended.
Although how much I wish I don't.
---
I don't feel okay.
I know something isn't right between us.
I know this is not the right way.
I wanna pull myself out.
I tried hard.
I tried.
---
I don't feel okay.
I know that feeling is missing.
When I didn't think nor mention about you for days.
This feeling isn't really right.
I think I'll forget about you.
Sooner or later.
Or I already did.
---
I don't feel okay.
I don't feel secure.
I hope I can hid myself up.
I wanna be a loner.
Because I am always a loser.
I don't feel okay...
17 March 2014
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