Insecure

Its almost the end of this semester.
And now when I look back, I really did spend most of my time for my Pharmacy friends.
I hang out with them, crazy with them, and they fill my life with lots of laughter and joys.
But I just feel that there's always a barrier between us.
I can joke but I know the limit. I can share my stuffs but AGAIN, I know the limit.
There's always a line for what I can and cannot do.

I'm kinda diverge from MSL already. Even with the juniors.
Until just now one of my whom I consider as family member suddenly come and chat to me in FB.
Then I realize I didn't talk much to him in this semester and he's moving away from PGP next sem.
Well I suddenly feel sad and insecure.
I'm afraid that I invested my time in the wrong group of people again.
I don't know. This feeling is very weird.
Ya, my Pharm friends gave me a lot of laughter but there's always a distance.
And when I turn back to MSL, I feel family love. I feel secure.

I don't know what I'm doing in this semester.
Its a total mess. Like I dunno where I had spent my time on.
Even for some of my best friends, I dunno why but I have a feeling that they don't really take me as best friend.
But ya, I have to admit that I am really not a good friend.

Really hope this insecure feeling will disappear soon.
I don't wanna lose any of my friends but I don't know where I should focus on.
BUT ya, obviously I'll focus on MSL.
Sorry MSL. I was lost for a period of time.
But I'm back. I'll cut down my focus and time on my Pharm friends.

Once a MSL, forever a MSL...
=)