The road not taken

3rd week ends. Everything seems smooth, except studies.

My dad encourage me to apply for medicine in IMU. He wants me to have no regrets in my life. Well, here comes again. The situation is getting worse and worse. I had already settled everything in HK now. But I haven't paid my tuition fees and accommodation fees. Means I still can run away from here. But should I??

There're a few points to consider:

1.  Yes. I'll miss here, if you ask me to leave now. I still haven't give myself a try. I still have the hope that    
     maybe, just maybe, I can shift to other faculty. Although the percentage is almost 0.

2.  Life is boring here. But there're still surprises in my everyday life. And I enjoyed it much.

3.  I don't have any closed friend here, but I have a gang of people to joke and play with. Even I don't need    
    to produce any sound, their actions will still make me laugh crazily.

4.  I don't enjoy math and EEE. But everyone here also doesn't enjoy it. So do I have the right to use this as a
     reason to quit?

5.  I can't pay attention in class or more to I can't catch up my class. But they are worse. They dozed off in
     class.

6.  I can't see my future. But something invisible try to pull me back, tying myself with HKU. I'm not willing
     and do not have the power to quit.

7.  I don't like you. But I enjoyed chatting with you although its always so  miserable.

8.  I hate my life here. Life sucks. But yet I enjoyed every piece of damn memories here.

So friend, what am I suppose to do? Quit or continue for a non-future and meaningless life here? Can someone give me any suggestions???

Haix~~~

Down

I dunno why I'm so down tonight. After coming back from library. Obviously, forcing myself to go library doesn't help. I'm just me. An ordinary not-so-hardworking student. Why am I suppose to force myself to become one of THEM???

Life starts to suck here. Lecturers expect us to know everything. But in fact, I know nothing. Every floor mates seem to studying in library (except my room mate who is skyping with his boyfriend now xD). I dunno why I've nothing to do. Or I should say I have no mood to do anything now, even room visiting.

After being "abandoned" by my senior, who's been scolded by me =P, I was staring at my super duper thick math book. 5min, 10min, 20min, 1 hour... I've done nothing. Numb. What I was thinking is, why am I doing something I don't like? Where's my future? What is my plan??? I have no idea. I'm lost... Totally lost. So I just closed up my book and pacing slowly back to my hall. SLOWLY. Until everyone turn back with their weird facial expression staring at me. I look up into the dark sky. Almost full moon. I should feel relieve. but I wasn't.

Back to my room. I didn't take off my shoes and went straight to  my bed. Lying there without the sense of timing. I feel like crying. My senior called. I told him  my damn situation. And what he said was, walao how can you emo for such a long time??? You should have use that time for studying!!! Damn, again...

Another senior is nicer. He comforted me for the first time. (He complaint that I wear like a typical mainland student...  Oh pls, he's not wearing smart today also... zzz) Haix... Life sucks. What should I do? Change course??? Go back to Malaysia??? Or struggle here with no strong reasons???

What the hell... (I like to say this nowadays...) What kinda University this is...

Damn. Good night. =(