为什么
最近你一直出现在我的生活里
就连我千里迢迢地跑出去买东西
也会遇到你 很烦 真的

昨天
突然间发觉
我好久好久没再为任何人作过任何事
可能这跟你有关吧
不愿付出 只因怕失望

还记得
那年 infusion 后
你出生就带着的十字架项链
放在化装间里 不见了
我知道后
竟然比你还紧张
你说没关系 不见就不见了把
可我还擅自打电话到 UCC
帮你追问那边的负责人
还约了时间下去看

还记得
打开化装间的那瞬间
你在胸前化了个十字祷告
而我却在心中念啊弥陀佛

还记得
在我们转了一圈后
还看不着那项链的踪影
我们沉默了好久好久
直到走出 UCC
我的心情竟然还比你的差
竟然还要你安慰我

可这又如何呢
过去的都过去了
无论怎样我们都回不到过去了
虽然我对你没感觉了
也真的不在乎了
可偶尔被刺激到了
还是会像个疯子
眼泪一直往下掉
久久不能压抑自己

眼泪又掉了
算了 习惯了
只希望
我能够再次为我在乎的人付出
不要再因为你
而绑住自己
封闭自己的心

好久不见
你还是一样没变
只不过说话客气了许多

还是希望你一切顺利
虽然
你已不再是我人生中的一部分了

不要命 不要清醒

能不能蒙上眼睛 就可以不伤心
能不能脱下面具 还可以很狠心
如果不是遇见你 我不可能相信
生命有一种一定 一定要爱下去

爱可以相知相许 相依为命
却听天由命
爱可以心有灵犀 动魄惊心
却难以抗拒流星的宿命

我属于 你的注定
不属于 我的命运
不要命 不要清醒
还有梦能紧紧抱着你

爱写出 我的诗经
算不出 我的命运
你给我的命 下一辈子再还你

如果能如影随形 谁愿意一意孤行
如果能变成蚂蚁 我愿意趋近于零
冥冥中明明是你 明明还不死心
生命是一个谜语 因为你而悬疑

最初的一心一意 深信不疑
不能没有你
最后的情非得已 身不由己
当物换星移 今夕是何夕

我属于 你的注定 不属于 我的命运
不要命 不要清醒
还有梦能紧紧抱着你
爱写出 我的诗经 算不出 我的命运
你给我的命 下一辈子再还你

我属于 你的注定 不属于 我的命运
不要命 不离不弃

暴风雨里静静的运行
爱写出 我的诗经 算不出 我的命运
你借我的命 还给天地还给你

岁月不留人

突然间觉得
自己必须得长大了
得开始学着计划未来
学着如何踏入这个社会

今天
Polyclinic 里举办了 “医生节” 庆典
看着那些医生
都有着一张略显岁月痕迹的脸
想玩想疯却又不得不保持形象
我几乎可以思想得到
十年前 或二十年前的他们
在 NUS 里肯定都是帅哥美女
每天都得花半小时以上打扮自己
可如今
个个都不得不承认自己已上了年纪
开始想像 十年后的我
会在哪里 会有着怎样的人生
也是否会想起
今天 我曾经是整间 clinic 里最年轻的那个人
而感到丝毫的骄傲

真的很怕
我的人生会一直平凡下去
真的很怕
以后会后悔为何年轻时不作多些疯狂的事
真的很怕
人生没有让我值得骄傲的一件事

好吧
是时候打起精神
充实地过每一天了!!!

Pharmacist?

It has been one whole week since my preceptor-ship started.
And I truly regretted. For not swapping from polyclinic to community pharmacist.
Not that I wanna complain. But I rather travel further to learn something more. More than just pick packing medicines like a robot everyday.
I don't like this job. I learn nothing but the flow of medicine dispensing in hospital (which I've already learned three years ago).
And then I started to confuse. Is this what I really want to be for the rest of my life? Ya, I know this is not the only job scope as a Pharmacist. I need to be in charge of P-sales and dispensing medicine as well. But is this what I really wanted as helping others? I don't know.

I admit I am a person who doesn't like to live for a plain and boring life.
I like challenge. I like unexpected stuffs.
And so I lost my target in my life, once again.

I was acting like a zombie for this whole week, and its just the starting,
I keep convince myself that this is just the beginning and maybe it'll improve on the second week as I'll be used to the routine soon.
Everyday I just hope to rush back to my room. Keep myself away from the reality by keep watching dramas.
I don't even bother to talk nor complain about my day after a long day work. I just wanna keep my mind shut away from these.
I don't understand why all my friends can keep sharing their work. Maybe they really do enjoy it since they are not working in Polyclinic.

Am I complaining again? I don't know. Maybe I should just appreciate that at least I am helping somebody now? Can't believe I'll be doing these again in next summer and after I graduated.
The only excitement in my life now is BioBiz. Although I have to spam all the emails but I do enjoy it, at least.

Ahhhhhhh. I don't see any goal in my life. My mind is blank for most of the time during this period. Not even thinking about somebody as I have nobody to like now. Am I gonna live like a zombie like this for the rest of my life?

I loss my passionate in life. I need to find it back...

不敢太靠近
不敢太依赖
不敢太付出真心

只怕 哪天
我看见你时
会像我现在看见某些朋友一样
宁愿放慢脚步等他离去
也不愿像以前那样
大声地喊他的名字再兴奋地冲上去

一个学期
不长又不短
却能奇迹般地
让原本熟悉的人变陌生
陌生的人却拉进了距离

我们 也会那样吗？

Every time when I decided to step out,
There must be something to hold me back.

I wanted to treat others whole heartedly,
But I know don't care is the safest way.

"Don't ask. Don't feel. Don't take initiative. Don't respond. Don't care.
Stay in your own world and everything will remain peacefully."
Is my principle of life now.

Okay. I think its time to shut down myself again.
I just have too many characteristics problem that I should change and improve before I can step out.

Jia you ba. =)